It really looked to be a fun day. I had two major things on my agenda – pack up my former boss’ office computer (she has moved to Canada to work remotely), and go to lunch with my current boss for my annual review. My former boss is the office Art Director, and has a …
AS A PET OWNER, I feel a natural impulse to care for my pets. The well being of my animal friends is uppermost in my mind. I take pains to buy them good food; to provide them with a safe place to live. I even go so far as to buy treats and toys for their benefit.
I very calmly turned off the saw, and carefully removed my hearing protection, dust mask, and eye protection. As I walked into the house I amused myself by cupping my free hand under the damaged one, thinking, “Whoops! Don’t let the blood drip on the carpet!”
It all started out innocently enough. I had some meat left over from a stew I was making, and not wanting to waste it, I soaked it in teriyaki sauce and then left it in warm oven overnight. Next day: Beef Jerky!
I would not be able to lift this set, that was clear, but I wondered; is this heavy enough to crush me? How long would I be missed if I were to be crushed under a television? How long would it be before my pets stopped thinking of me as ‘poor dead Master’, and started thinking of me as ‘food’?
MY SURGERY WAS COMPLETE, so I returned to my humble abode, and did rest. A few beverages, a cold compress to reduce the swelling, and sleep.
THERE ARE FEW THINGS as near and dear to a man as the subject of reproduction. In particular, the tools he uses for the purpose of reproduction.
I had, of course, attracted the attention of my chattels, to wit: a 65lb white Shepard mix named Dojo, and a small black cat, Pyewacket. I do not normally share the bedtime snacks, but hope springs eternal in the belly of the cat and dog.
I WAS WALKING INTO THE OFFICE the other day, after a delightful 55 minute commute, when I noticed that there were going to be potential productivity problems. Specifically, my computer was gone. All of the cables, mouse, monitor, and other things were there, but no computer.
I DRIVE TO WORK. Thirty-five miles is the exact distance from the end of my driveway to the driveway of my workplace.