The Snake Charmer

Image: Snake
Coluber constrictor - The Black Racer

(Author’s Note: I am re-publishing all of my past writings here on the new This essay is several years old and refers to my very patient and forgiving ex-wife. Enjoy.)

THERE ARE MANY CHORES that befall a man when he owns a house. Lawn care is traditional in this regard; there are few men who pass up the chance to wander the yard in the company of the lawnmower. In the summer, this task must be performed every two weeks or thereabouts, and it adds still more order to an otherwise well regimented existence. All men know the true meaning of a quietly rhetorical question about the state of the lawn. It means you need to hop to it, man!

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The Feral Chicken of Clayton

Image: Cover art for The Feral Chicken of Clayton (and other essays)
Cover Art by Eric Maynard

IT WAS IN THE SPRING, while upon my daily commute, that I began to notice a peculiar sort of atmospheric disturbance. It seemed to be snow, but the time of year and region (North Carolina – the Tar Heel State) dictated that this could not be. Onward I drove, and the ‘snow’ seemed to increase, until at last I seemed in a veritable blizzard. Only then did I realize my error – I was driving behind a chicken truck!

I had been steadily gaining on the truck for some time, but had been so absorbed by the odd situation that I could not properly adjust my frame of reference. Now, however, I had ample opportunity to observe. It was a normal sized semi tractor trailer – an ’18 wheeler’. The bed of the truck was flat and consisted of several very large palettes, each of which contained many small cages, stacked very high, with about a dozen chickens per cage. They (the chickens) were white, and decidedly fat. They were undoubtedly bound for the dinner table. Adding insult to injury, they were being buffeted by the winds on the freeway. I resolved to be more circumspect the next time I ate poultry.

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The Dishwasher Incident

Image: Cover art for The Feral Chicken of Clayton (and other essays)
Available on for a mere $9.95

(Author’s Note: I am re-publishing all of my past writings here on the new This essay is several years old and refers to my very patient and forgiving ex-wife. Enjoy.)

I CLEARLY REMEMBER the first episode in my marriage that caused dissent between my wife and myself. It was in the spring, perhaps a month or two after our blessed union, that we were in the process of cleaning the kitchen after an evening meal. I was clearing and cleaning, my beloved was rinsing and loading. After a few minutes, I began to notice certain difficulties with my wife’s method of loading the dishwasher. It became apparent to me that the entirety of the night’s dishes would not be accommodated by the limited space afforded.

Somewhere, floating in the dark recesses of my mind, is a list. This list contains the many things that I find slightly annoying, mildly irritating, and extremely bothersome. I became suddenly aware that the inefficient loading of a dishwasher was on the ‘slightly annoying’ part of the list. Being the wise and thoughtful fellow that I am, I waited until my wife had completed her activities, then made my way over to the dishwasher, and calmly analyzed the situation. Continue reading The Dishwasher Incident


Image: Avatar
Hey Mr. Kittymans

Last night my lovely wife and I went to see the James Cameron epic, Avatar. We went to see it at the Raleigh IMAX theater in 3D. I’ve not been impressed by the local IMAX theater – it gives me the feeling that I’m sitting too close to the screen. However, this was 3D! Perhaps it would add something to the experience?

It did! It was, in a word, hellish. I seem to be in the small number of folks who get motion sickness from certain 3D effects. I spent about half of the first hour with my eyes closed.

By the time I got used to the effects, the story was well underway. I found it heavy-handed and obvious. By the end of the movie, I found that the characters who had started out interesting were one-dimensional at best. The dialog is flat, even the acting is quite unremarkable. I’m sure that in the script, the line that’s used most often is “…and then, just in the nick of time…” because that happens in every almost every action sequence.

I think because of the wow factor in the effects, most people are overlooking the fact that the movie itself is really quite bad. I don’t think it will hold up well after the novelty has faded.


Image: Joe Komenda
Hi there!

Welcome to the new! I hadn’t been posting to the site for a number of years, but since moving to a new hosting company, I decided to do a proper reboot of the site using WordPress.

I also decided to narrow the focus of the site to cover just the things that I’m still interested in, mostly writing. I’ll be posting all of my previous essays, links to my books, comics, and art collections, as well as serializing my new novella.

Oh, and thanks for stopping by!